Do you ever argue with anybody?  Who?  Why do people argue?  Can Christians argue and not sin?  My opinion is that the answer is in the affirmative based on an often-overlooked passage in the Bible.  “And after some days Paul said to Barnabas, ‘Let us return and visit the brothers in every city where we proclaimed the word of the Lord, and see how they are.’ Now Barnabas wanted to take with them John called Mark. But Paul thought best not to take with them one who had withdrawn from them in Pamphylia and had not gone with them to the work. And there arose a sharp disagreement, so that they separated from each other. Barnabas took Mark with him and sailed away to Cyprus, but Paul chose Silas and departed, having been commended by the brothers to the grace of the Lord. And he went through Syria and Cilicia, strengthening the churches” (Acts 15:36-41).

Paul and Barnabas had been friends for a long time.  In fact, Barnabas had been the only person to help Paul the first time that he had come to Jerusalem.  “And when he had come to Jerusalem, he attempted to join the disciples. And they were all afraid of him, for they did not believe that he was a disciple. But Barnabas took him and brought him to the apostles and declared to them how on the road he had seen the Lord, who spoke to him, and how at Damascus he had preached boldly in the name of Jesus” (Act 9:26-27).  I have often thought that I would love to be like Barnabas.  His name is actually a nickname that means “son of encouragement.”  His real name was Joseph.  It is interesting that Acts chapter four tells us that he was a Levite from Cypress.  Thus, he was from the tribe that had been chosen to serve the Lord in the temple and represent Him to the people, yet Barnabas was also from Cypress, a Gentile area, rather than Jerusalem.  In other words, Barnabas was part of the in-crowd by birth, yet he was also an outsider because of his place of origin.  Almost every time Barnabas is mentioned in the Bible, we see him supporting and building up others.  There is only one negative verse about Barnabas in the Bible. It is given in the context of Paul berating Peter for his hypocritical actions during a visit to Antioch. “And the rest of the Jews acted hypocritically along with him, so that even Barnabas was led astray by their hypocrisy” (Galatians 2:13).  Paul here justifies the need to speak out against Peter’s behavior based on the evidence that even the Jew who had shown himself to be most accepting of Gentiles (Barnabas), had been led to act hurtfully to beloved brothers in Christ because of Peter’s actions.  Thus, even this criticism of Barnabas demonstrates that Barnabas’ usual manner towards others was filled with love.  Otherwise, Paul would not have held Barnabas up as the most shocking of the defections caused by Peter’s hypocrisy in the Antioch church.

After their initial encounter in Jerusalem, Paul and Barnabas went their separate ways for a time. Paul returned to his hometown of Tarsus while Barnabas stayed on in Jerusalem.  I suspect that they may have remained in touch, however, because later, when Barnabas needed someone to help him with the mixed Jewish and Gentile church at Antioch, he knew just where Paul was and that he would be the perfect assistant in guiding believers through the unique conditions of this first mixed church.  Barnabas traveled to Tarsus and entreated Paul to move to Antioch to help him with the church there.  The two men worked together for a long time ministering to the Antioch church, and then one day, a whole new world of service opened up for the pair. The Holy Spirit chose Paul and Barnabas to be the first missionaries sent out specifically for the purpose of spreading the gospel among the Gentiles.  There had already been Jews who had brought the gospel to Gentiles, but this was the first mission dedicated specifically to this important task. The two friends had faced many dangers together as they traveled through what is now modern Turkey. They had also accomplished many successful evangelistic endeavors in partnership, as well as undergoing persecution and even participating together in fiascos, such as being mistaken for false gods.  Through it all, the two friends had remained true to Jesus and to each other.

Yes, Paul and Barnabas had been friends and co-workers for a long time, but now they were arguing.  What were they arguing about?  A young man named Mark.  Paul and Barnabas were planning their second missionary trip, and Barnabas wanted to take Mark with them, but Paul refused.  On their first trip, they had taken young Mark, and he had left them when they needed him.  Paul knew how dangerous this second missionary journey was going to be, and he did not want to take anyone with them who could not face the hardships and dangers without running away.  Barnabas, on the other hand, believed in giving second chances.  This was the reason that he had helped Paul all those years ago when no one else in Jerusalem would trust him.  Barnabas wanted to give Mark another chance at serving Jesus and bringing the knowledge of salvation to the Gentiles.

The argument went on for a while and neither man backed down.  Paul was sure that he was right.  Barnabas was just as adamant that taking Mark was the will of God.  In the end, they could not compromise with each other, so they decided to separate.  After all their years together, the two Christian men split apart over a “sharp disagreement.”  These two wonderful men stopped working together as missionaries because they could not agree about Mark.  Paul ended up taking a man named Silas with him on his travels. The two men went one way retracing the same path that Paul and Barnabas had previously forged at the direction of the Spirit, but now Paul was traveling with a new partner.  At the same time, Barnabas took Mark with him and went a different direction to his old home of Cypress.

Now, whenever we hear about an argument, we usually want to know who is right and who is wrong.  The truth is that I am unsure about who won this particular argument.  Paul was correct that the second missionary journey would be filled with danger.  For instance in Philippi, Paul and Silas ended up getting beaten and thrown into jail.  Their response was to sing praises to God as they sat chained, bloody, and filthy on the hard stone prison floor, so I believe that Paul was happy to have Silas as his partner.  Their successful, yet perilous, progress as they revisited the fledgling Gentile churches originally established by Paul and Barnabas proved that Paul had shown good judgment in choosing Silas as his companion.  On the other hand, Barnabas was also successful.  He was able to take Mark and help him to overcome his problems so that Mark became a useful and faithful servant for God.  How do I know this when the book of Acts tells us nothing more about the missionary journey of Barnabas and Mark?  The evidence of the soundness of Barnabas’ decision to mentor Mark is found throughout the New Testament.

Can you list the first four books of the New Testament?  Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.  Guess what?  The book of Mark was written by the young man that Paul felt was a failure who could not be depended upon.  Because Mark was given a second chance by Barnabas, we have the beautiful gospel that sheds so much light on the actions of Jesus.  In fact, Paul would change his negative opinion of Mark at a later date.  We know this because in 2 Timothy 4:11, Paul wrote to Timothy that he wanted Timothy to bring Mark because Mark was useful to Paul.

Personally, I kind of think that in the long run Barnabas was right, but here is the thing that I want you to remember.  When two people do not agree with each other, the most important factor is not about being right or wrong.  In fact, an argument does not mean that only one side of the dispute is right while the other side is wrong.  Both participants might be right, or they both might be wrong.  In reality, being right or wrong is not the most important factor according to the scriptures.  The Bible reveals that the most essential component to remember in an argument is to always treat the other person well, regardless of the righteousness of one side and the contemptibleness of the other.  Paul himself would delineate this principle in the “love chapter” in his first letter to the Corinthians.  Because of their argument, Paul and Barnabas did not go together as missionaries on a second trip, but God was still able to bless both of them because they knew how to argue the right way. 

You also know the scriptural principle for arguing in the right way, but you may not have thought of it as a basic law for Christians fighting before.  It is the “golden rule”—do unto others as you would have them do unto you.  Actually, the direct quote is “So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets” (Matthew 7:12).  In other words, if you do not want the other side to disrespect you, show respect to the other person as you disagree with him or her.  If you do not want to be shouted at, keep your own voice down.  If you do not want others to gang up on you as you express your opposing views, do not solicit other people to take your side against the other person.  The Bible does not tell Christians to never disagree with each other.  Instead, the guidelines that it gives for all communication can be applied to arguments.  There is no excuse for two Christians to part from each other in bitterness if they love one another and forgive as Jesus directed.  In fact, the Bible makes it clear that no matter how right you are, you are still more wrong than the other person if you do not interact according to the communication principles given in the scriptures.

Next time that you find yourself in a sharp disagreement–a full-blown argument–with someone else, remember that there is a wrong way and a right way to argue.  No matter how right your  words  and logic are, God will not be able to bless your views unless you are also right in your actions and attitude towards the other side.  Learn the lesson of Paul and Barnabas.