I used to have a phobia of nursing homes and hospitals.  I was never that thrilled with the atmosphere and smells, but then one of my students, who was also a friend, died of cancer in a hospital.  Somehow, visiting her the night before she chose to be disconnected from the machines that were keeping her alive ignited my phobia.  Seeing that well-loved face sitting among her family and friends as they sang to her, watching her sons leaning against the wall with tears in their eyes knowing that the next day their mother would be gone gave me a fear of hospitals that later transferred over to nursing homes.  I was so terrified of nursing homes that I only visited my father once there in his final months of life.  I justified my neglect with the argument that he would not know me anyway, so he would not feel my absence.  However, the reality was that my phobia would not let me enter that nursing home again after forcing myself to enter on my first visit, even to see my beloved dad.

In the beginning of 2018, God called me to lead out in a ministry to some nursing homes.  I was full of anxiety, but I was determined to go wherever God had a job for me, and I knew that I was the only person in my church who could do the job that I was doing.   I had spent too many years telling God what I would and would not do, and I already knew that my way had not worked out, so even though I hated the idea, I went forward to do the job that was set before me.  I won’t lie. I did not enjoy the experience at first.  In fact, I was full of relief every time I stepped out the door of the nursing home, but it was only once a month in the beginning, and the preparation with my fellow church members was fun.  We were not very good at singing, so it required a lot of practice.  Luckily, we had a talented guitarist who could guide us so that we did not screech too badly.  It also helped that many of the older people could not hear well!  Anyways, something strange happened after a few months of forcing myself to lead worship services at nursing homes.  My phobia disappeared without me really noticing when and how it happened.

Soon, participating in a branch church service at a nursing home was one of the highlights of my weeks. There is nothing as satisfying as talking with people after a program and having them tell me with tears in their eyes how blessed they were by taking part in our church service.  I went from the job of announcing songs and praying to delivering the sermons, as our group grew smaller and smaller.  We started with nine members and over time were reduced to three (and no guitar player!).  At the same time, we added another residence and increased the number of listeners from six to twenty-eight.  One of the advantages of knowing that we were not very good at what we were doing is that we knew that the blessing was all from God since it could not possibly have come from our nonexistent talents as entertainers.   Until COVID-19 shut us down, I was enjoying every minute of my time inside of these places that had once held only fear and anxiety for me.

I am sure a doctor could explain the disappearance of my phobia with medical terminology like desensitization.  However, whether my phobia was cured miraculously or naturally is not important.  The point is that what was once a curse had become a blessing.  I learned that when God sets a job before you to do, He will make a way for the work that He gives you to rebound as a blessing.  God does not send us into situations alone.  He is with us, providing us with strength and skills to accomplish the job.  Even though we are weak and inept, He can take our small contributions and multiply them so that those He is asking us to help and teach receive a hundredfold more than we gave.  Then He goes the extra step of bringing that gift that we tried to give to others back to us in the form of joy and satisfaction.  God may ask you to perform a service that you love to do.  This is true for me every time that He asks me to teach.  On the other hand, He may ask you to participate in an activity that you fear and hate.  If you know that he is calling you to this service, you can also be sure that he will provide a blessing at the end. 

I want to caution you that receiving a blessing may not result if humans are asking you to perform a service, but God is not calling you to that service.  Our brothers and sisters in the church have ways of guilting us into doing jobs that God has never asked us to perform.  Prayerfully ask God what He wants from you and follow His leading alone.  Whenever I give this caution, someone always objects that God uses humans to give us messages from Him, and this is true, but I have learned to listen for the Spirit’s yes before giving my own affirmative.  Well-meaning followers of God sometimes confuse their own desires with God’s wishes.  Thus, it is important to bring God into the process for ourselves and ask for His leading.  Then we can be assured of the blessing at the end of the service.

Here are my steps for assuring that God is leading me.  Every day, I recommit to my willingness to be led by God.  I ask Him to use me in His service daily.  Then I maintain an attitude of listening for the Spirit’s leading.  In other words, after asking to be led by God, I go through my day expecting that I might hear from Him.  When someone asks me to perform an action, I do a quick listen to see if there is some objection or affirmative from the Spirit.  If there is no message, I answer yes or no depending on practical considerations and, yes, my own personal desires.  Thus, if someone asks me to knock on doors to hand out literature, I will usually say no because of my introvert tendencies, but before I say no, I listen because there have been times when God has told me to say yes.  These two steps, making a commitment to God’s service daily and listening for the Spirit’s leading, are essential to ensure that you are doing God’s will and not your own.

I started out by enthusiastically encouraging you to serve God even when the job that He is asking of you is distasteful or even downright terrifying.  Then I seemed to draw back and say that its okay to say no to service that you dislike.  Isn’t that a contradiction?  Here is the difference.  When God is not calling you to a job, the experience can push you away from Him and stop you from assisting His other children if you force yourself to participate.  However, when God calls you to service, He will provide the sustenance and power and enthusiasm that you need to perform the job.  With God’s backing, a successful outcome is not important.  Maybe, the person that you are asked to speak to rejects the message as many of the prophets experienced.  Maybe, no one comes to the meetings that you helped to plan and execute.  It does not matter when you know that God has been with you every step of the way.  When you are serving humans, you will end up exhausted and defeated.  When you are serving God, phobias disappear, setbacks are inconsequential, and blessings appear out of nowhere.  God takes care of His own. 

What takeaway would I like you to have from the experiences that I have shared?  Serving God is the most exciting adventure you can have in your life.  Go out of your way to find ways to serve Him, and you will never regret it.  Do not let other people deprive you of that joy with imitation service that God has not called you to perform.  Instead, daily commune with Him and listen for His guidance.  Then get out there and start serving when opportunities open up for you.  You will receive a blessing!